Be OK

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LTlDVPL1fIQ&NR=1

Ingrid Michaelson's Be Ok
"I just want to be okay."

My friends and my mother have always told me that I struck them as independent. For example, I like to eat alone, shop alone, read alone, or be alone. Although quite contradicting, I need a lot of personal space but at the same time some venue for me to express what I have a passion for. Subconsciously, I might have made myself give off that independent, strong-minded aura also, just so I could be whom I wanted myself to be. To my surprise, I noticed that I've grown into more and more dependent these two years. Or, I should've put it as an ongoing struggle of me wanting someone to be with me and me not wanting to rely on anyone (again, this is quite bipolar). When I was in Hong Kong this winter, I walked by a temple and had one of those bamboo stick fortune telling sheets. Basically, it says I should try to stay low key this year. I would put a lot of effort to achieve my goals but all of those effort will go down the drain. I don't want to come off as superstitious; yet, here I am, sitting on my ass filling out job applications but none of them seemed to work. I am desperate, desperate for a job to invest all my effort. I just need something; I want to be okay.

On a side note, Jenny Humpfrey from Gossip Girl - Taylor Momsen spotted climbing walls and jumping off stairs? It looked like a Nike commercial or a stunt. Hilarious!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8kHdNkAPBdw