http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5_ftpDP1cdM&feature=related

Amelie sounfdtrack la valse d'Amelie
for a night like this, Amelie's soundtrack is the best.

live my life with style and taste
I'm trying to develop a taste that suits me

a lifestyle that suits me

i'm searching and exploring

Today, I only had one hour of sleep because at 6 in the morning my friend rushed into my room in tears. She just had a huge fight with her boyfriend in his room and he was hitting the mirror and kept bumping his head against the wall. She cried for 2 hours while her boyfriend was outside. And now, here I am, sitting here in my room at 8 in the morning cannot fall asleep.

I don't think I ever sleep anymore.

what a night.

i'm afraid i'm never good enough for you
i told you who i really am
hoping that you'll like who i am
but depressingly
you never would

and i never should've opened up

spring

let's pop some champagne bottles in the morning
stroll idly in the park
with you wearing a plain white shirt with your favorite cargo shorts
me wearing a springy ivory dress with a small leather purse draping down on the left side of my shoulder
we walk along the river side
passing by couples jogging side by side
looking at little boys running after each other in the soccer field
an afternoon getaway
an ethereal oasis

we walk in the middle of the park
with our blurry silhouettes projected on the dry concrete ground
with turnips on both sides of the sidewalk
tilting slightly away from us

we walk aimlessly from 114th street to central park
without uttering a single word
without letting go of our hands
how i wish time would freeze at this moment
so i would always remember what it feels like
to be young and alive
and
to have you in my life

As I had told you guys before, once school started I would not be writing on this blog as frequently as I had been.

life sucks. period.

I am working non-stop everyday till some ungodly hours.

It will get better in March.

talk to you guys in a month.

I wish I weren't the way I am

I don't like being in my comfort zone
I think that is one of my biggest problems
Leaving my friends, my family, my current life behind for a "better" or "new" environment
Rejecting my old self but not entirely accepted in this new world
So I try again and again to forget about the past
I cannot go back to the way I was

Forgive me

Where Have You Been?

There is this really funny trait about males

For those I am not interested and only want to be friends with, they actually will not give up. Guys do like chasing and it's funny because it is not going anywhere. How can they not realize that?

For example, drunk texting is just...really...not a good way to talk to a girl. What does that say? I don't get it...
"yo I'm drunk...and i'm finishing up drinking can I text you in a little bit?"
"i'm drunk sorry if i made no sense"
"yo wanna go to 1020? wanna drink? btw i'm drunk"
"yo what are you up to? dude wanna come downtown to drink?"
"hey i wanna get outta here. can i come over?"

NOOOOOOO!! NONONO!!!!
I don't want to be mean but this is getting a little annoying because getting random texts at 3/4 in the morning is just not cool.

For those who I am interested in, they just never asked. OH WELL...

at the subway today, this random guy came up to me and asked for my phone number. it was...sketchy and scary. I was really mean too.